Chapter 8

Written by: vmerrill

Lieutenant Smits smashed his fist on the desk scattering folders and papers.

“What’s up, Smitty?” Lomax grinned. “Not getting any?”

Smits gave him the bird. He hated the way gossip seeped through the precinct like sewerage. He and Michelle were having problems, but sure as hell, he didn’t want to share them with the likes of Lomax.

“I’ve just been reading through the files on that Fontaine case. You know – the headless corpse in the container?”

“Yeah. Not a pretty sight.” Lomax screwed up his long hound-like face, his hand reaching for and hovering over, the screaming phone beside him.

“All points to Fontaine and his sidekick, Jason Udall.” He flicked open the top folder.” Madison’s warehouse and shipments to Nigeria that I’m betting are just a cover-up for the real business.”

He didn’t add that the latest covert intelligence on diamond smuggling, fit perfectly with everything to do with the body in the container and the disappearance of Fontaine. He’d slowly pieced it together and the last communication with Udall clinched it. Sounded like he’d managed to press the key on his phone just before the first gunshot. He cradled his head in his hands, waiting for information to come through on the cellphone’s last position. The woman’s scream in the background worried him. Not Christine – according to the information he’d just read, she looked after herself too well for that. But if not her, then who? Some elusive fact agitated away in his memory but he just couldn’t access it.

“Ah huh.” Lomax slammed down the phone. “Gunshots. Down at some warehouse.” He stood, pulling on his jacket.

Smits’ phone rang. He jotted down the area. “What’s the location of the warehouse?” When Lomax told him, he jumped to his feet and grabbing his jacket, followed him from the room.

“What’s up?” Lomax opened the squad car and slid into the driver’s seat.

“Fontaine. That’s what.” Smits checked his holster for his Glock; that it was loaded. “This is the break I’ve been waiting for. With luck we’ll catch all the buzzards at once.” He called in and asked for backup.

Lomax gunned the car out and on to the freeway.

“Cut the siren,” Smits ordered as they approached the clump of old buildings.

They drove into the broken-down parking lot and Lomax wound down the windows, switching off the ignition. “Now what?”

Smits looked at his watch, calculating the arrival of backup.

A woman screamed. A gunshot echoed around the lot.

“Holy crap!” Lomax turned towards Smits, raising his eyebrows.

“Move!” Smits’ snarled, already half-way out of the door. His gun in his hand, he ran for the cover of the first warehouse, followed by Lomax.

“Nothing here,” Smits gestured to Lomax to move to the next building.

As they rounded the corner, something fell from high above, landing just a few feet in front of them. They both stopped, guns still in their hands, regarding what lay splattered on the concrete.

A body.

Vivienne Merrill (NZ)


Oh what a great word - 'splattered' - is. Now we have the cops on the scene and the possibility of more gun play. I can see 'Bogey' leaning out of the window shouting - "Come and get me, ya suckers." Vivienne writes with flair and looks as though she threw herself into this and had great fun. Marvellous stuff. The tension is still going through the roof and we now need to know who is 'SPLATTERED'.
BRAVO! Your chapter has everything I love. Readibility, action, consistency, drama, correct spelling and punctuation--not a minor feat in today's writing world! I also very much enjoyed reading your chapter both from a personel point of view and from the point of view of the writer who will follow you. Thanks for giving me something to get my teeth into. I can't wait!
I actually said aloud as I was reading "Oh My Goodness!!" What a great chapter. I cannot wait for the rest.
Great ending plus more intrigue and action about what is happening. Gun play in drama is good.