Chapter 6

Written by: cindimp

Jason disappeared into the undergrowth and raced through the forest, plunging through Hawthorns’ that tore at his clothes and clung to him. He could hear Albert crashing through the trees behind him.

Ahead there was a culvert. He climbed in and curled up, shivering as the water seeped into his clothing. He peeped out. Albert was a shadowy form in the distance. There was no time to start running again. He pressed in against the concrete, feeling its chill cut through him.

Albert was near, so near that Jason could hear his heavy breathing. He held his own breath, letting it out in little tiny silent gasps. Albert’s shadow fell over him. He froze against the concrete and bit his lip. His eyes focused on his own muddy footprint just as Albert came to a halt above him. Jason stared at his footprint willing it to go away. Rainwater eased over it and the print disappeared just as he felt sure Albert was looking at it. The shadow receded as Albert turned to face the way he had just come. There was a loud grunt as though he was wondering where Jason had disappeared to. He started running again.

Jason eased his mobile out of his pocket and rang the Lieutenant. He got Smits voice mail.

Keeping his voice low, Jason whispered urgently, ‘This is Udall. I have information. Call me.’

He rang off and looking around, climbed out of the culvert. As he did so his thoughts turned to Sue, his wife, five months pregnant. He had wondered why she had not been to visit him in hospital. Now he realized that Christine had everything to do with keeping her away. Cold fear gripped his gut as he realized the danger Sue was in. He had to find Christine and Albert.


Sue regained consciousness and became aware of rattling corrugated iron walls and a chill breeze. The sun glanced through broken, cobweb covered windows as she tried to tug her arms free. They were held fast by ropes that bound her to a chair. She tore at them and felt the blood trickle down her hands and gather around her fingernails.

She realized her struggle was a futile gesture as two figures stepped into a narrow stream of sunlight that slashed across the floor.

‘Well, the lady returns,’ sneered Albert.

Sue looked up at him, bewildered. ‘Where’s Jason? Why are you doing this?’

Christine cackled. ‘We know he’s got what we want and he’ll give it up as soon as he knows you’re here’

Albert put a finger to his lips and smiled grimly. Running to the wall, he pulled back a piece of corrugated iron.

Through the gap, Sue could see Jason creeping along the wall of another building. Every so often he stood on tip-toe, looking in a window.

‘The bird is returning to the coop,’ said Albert.

Cindi Prewitt  (USA)





This chapter stimulates the visual as I can see a pregnant woman tied to a chair. The Christine/Albert relationship is starting to make more sense now. Very clear condensed storytelling. One thing though the line "He had wondered why she did not been to visit him in hospital." I think 'had not been to" is correct. Good work Cindi.
A really good chapter from Cindi. I too think kidnapping the pregnant Sue is a great idea. Her being abused gives the reader a heroin and a reason to hate Albert. After five serials the writers are starting to 'let it all hang out'. Maybe some writers were worried about how their work would be received or were not used to writing part of a serial and learning all about continuity. With all of the writers (old hands) now 'going for it', the new writers will find it easier to blend in and blossom. I hope this excellent serial will encourage more members to express themselves and show their talent.
I objected to Jason having a young pregnant wife originally because I didn't think it fit his character. How brilliantly you have taken advantage of it and built her into a heroin. well done.
I objected to Jason having a young pregnant wife originally because I didn't think it fit his character. How brilliantly you have taken advantage of it and built her into a heroin. well done.
The fact that the story seemed to be going off in another direction in its early stages and then changed to include the pregnant wife of Jason in a believable way shows how skillful writers are becoming, not only in imaginative plotting but also in continuity of storyline. A round of applause for them all. What a team!