Chapter 6

Written by: Jasmine Groves

Max struggled to get his breathing under control; his eyes blurred, sweat trickled down his brow.

Maybe he had been wrong, it couldn’t be Mia. Surely she hadn’t aged that much, she looked haggard and pale in the image in front of him.


“I’ll ask again, what the hell do you want?” said Max stalling for time.

“Now, now Max, don’t be like that with an old friend,” a malicious grin started forming at the corner of Stevenson’s lips. “It’s been a while I know, but you can’t have forgotten your promise? You can’t have forgotten the key?”

Adrenaline shot through Max, he bolted, stumbling as he crashed into a coffee table sending half open bottles over the floor. It didn’t stop him, his legs carried him ahead until he reached the door, and plunged into the alley

It was pitch black and he didn’t see the arms as they grabbed him.


Wakened by a strange noise, a smell of dampness and someone else breathing, Max slowly opened his eyes.

The room was blurred, dark and didn’t seem particularly large. He shrugged, felt the bruised muscles ache as he did and tried to plough backwards into his memory to work out what was going on.

Too much to drink.

Something across from him rustled. Hell, he hoped it wasn’t a mouse, he hated mice, dirty little diseased creatures. A gasp reached his ears, followed by a rasping voice: “Who’s there, who’s there, you can’t abduct me, people will be looking for me.” A sob escaped from the body opposite. “Why am I here, let me go, let me go!” Feet lashed out towards him catching him sharply in the shin.

Max cursed and kicked back. “Calm down, stop you’re screeching! I’m trying to think. I didn’t bring you here. You aren’t my problem.”

The quiet of the dark enveloped him. A complete silence. Thank goodness the body had listened; then, just as his thoughts were returning to an orderly sequence, a whisper.



Followed by an even deeper silence, confusion blowing through his brain and blood rushing to his head. Mia, how could she be here? What was Stevenson up to?

“Mia, it is me, it’s Max… gosh what is happening, I am freaking out. I haven’t seen Stevenson since 1997 and then these photos started turning up, then I’m in my apartment and now I’m here in the dark with you. What the hell is going on?” He groaned. The exertion of talking getting the better of him, “Mia tell me what you know? Why us? Why now and what has all of this got to do with the key?”

Sobbing followed his question, deep heaving sobs that sounded as if they would make Mia break. He waited in the dark with no answer forthcoming when the sobs turned into a horrible keening sound, that made his ears want to bleed.

Through gasps, “Max, I don’t know, I promise I don’t.”

Mia passed out.


Loads of action, loads of tension, loads of emotion and just enough description to set the scene. All of this is going on in a darkened room so we cannot see anything and yet we do. Because of the way Jasmine has created tension and mystery through the characters senses we see everything. Chapters written in such a way tell us we are reading an experienced writers work. Nice chapter, Jasmine.