Chapter 5


Helen looks at Mary and Dennis’ unequivocal love.  She has felt this way all of her life.  Now this love’s direction has changed just a little.  Helen is more confident in such a dramatic family moment.

“I deleted them mum.”

Mary makes a small disappointed noise.

“They are my business not yours.”

Dennis is rattled now.

“What’s going on between you two,” he asks stepping to the side.

Stephen enters the kitchen through the back door.

All heads turn to face him.

“What?” asks a bewildered Stephen.

“What have I done?” he asks with just a hint of guilt in his voice.

“Nothing,’” says Mary.

“You are the same as you’ve always been,” says a loving mother with her arms around his chest.

“Thanks mum,” a nervous Stephen replies pushing her away.

“You all look guiltier than me.  What’s happening?”


Looking towards Helen, Stephen knows her come with me into the lounge face.

He goes through the hallway, Helen follows.  Dennis and Mary stare at each other.

Stephen puts his hands on Helen’s shoulders and gives the eye movement that asks what is going on.

“Brenda has contacted me more frequently over the last 3 months Stephen.”

 She can talk to her brother more than she can talk to Dennis and Mary. She knows he’ll accept it and keep it to himself.

Helen opens her phone highlighting the interchange she has had with Brenda.

‘I didn’t delete it.”

“That makes sense to me,” Stephen says.

“I knew I could trust you Stephen,” says Helen. The middle child always took the most responsibility for anything that happened.  He could be relied on as back up.


Dennis has his own big hands on Mary’s shoulders.  Mary is close to crying.

“What is the big deal with this?”

Mary looks down on the floor like a guilty school girl then looks up.

“I don’t want her in my life Dennis.”

“She never has been. She made that very clear from the handover.”

“She has a legal right to be in contact even though she said she wouldn’t,” Mary replies.

“We can’t get in the way of that,” says Dennis 


Helen is hugging into Stephen’s chest.

“Yeah.  That makes sense,” says Stephen.

“We’ll keep it to ourselves.”

“Thanks almost big brother,” says Helen.

Stephen takes her by the hand and leads her back into the kitchen.


Mary looks towards Helen with complete affection as she comes closer. 

Mary’s first reaction to anything family based is always traumatic.  It comes as a shock.  One problem quickly becomes a lot of problems until she gets a hold of the situation.


Amanda wipes clean her plate of fish fingers, baked beans and beer. It’s a clear Wednesday night before Good Friday or the Extra  Good Friday Dennis had spoken of. Amanda loves her own live by yourself, just get on with your life attitude. That didn’t come easy or via dead dad. 

Her cell phone lights up and she reads it with glee on her face.  














This reads like a play with a few stage instructions inserted. I would really like to see these people, the expressions on their faces, the space they occupy and their interaction. We have to guess a lot of this because we aren't given it. It also leads to a staccato pace. Be good see more of what is going on.