Chapter 5

Written by: Ray Stone

Jason took the logbook from Christine’s hand and pushed the gun into her back, making her walk ahead until they reached the half open door.

He pulled his cell phone out and called for a cab.

“Just what do you think you’re going to do now?” said Christine.

“We’re going to the cops. You’re going to tell them everything you know, including who it was that tried to kill me.”

Before Christine could answer, Jason’s voicemail rang. With his free hand he thumbed the green button and put the phone to his ear. Lieutenant Smits wanted him to call back as soon as possible. The Coroner’s report confirmed the victim as Madison.

Jason shivered. It wouldn’t take the lieutenant long to work things out if his men found the radiator in the stack at the back of the yard. His prints were all over it.

Keeping Christine covered, he flicked through the pages of the logbook until he came to the last entry. Container 3169N43T – 580 Ford radiators – 110  230hp engines.  Pick up June 2nd  – due Nigeria July 19th. Madison’s shipments of spare parts to Nigeria every so often provided them with good cover. Circled at the side of the list were some initials, DS and an amount, $25,000.

The tires of the cab splashed through puddles and crunched on the gravel outside. Closing the warehouse door behind him, Jason whispered in Christine’s ear. “Get in and don’t do anything stupid.” He put the gun into his jacket pocket and pushed the muzzle against her side.


As the cab left the yard, a large black Chrysler followed at a distance.

The cab took a right into Long Acre Boulevard and sped toward the freeway, its tires hissing across the asphalt. Jason wondered what Smits reaction would be. Maybe he could cut a deal with the DA. Leaving a wife and unborn baby for a jail cell filled him with dread.

A blast from a car horn directly behind them made him look out of the rear window. He caught his breath, recognizing the broken fender on Albert’s car. Jason breathed a sigh of relief. “Pull in, driver.” He handed the driver a twenty as they came to a halt.

Albert got out of the car and came towards them. The look on his face told Jason something was wrong. When Jason saw the gun pointing at him and Albert’s satisfied look, he knew he was in deep trouble. He pulled Christine in front of him and pushed the gun into her back.

“Don’t be a fool, Jason. Give her the gun and logbook.”

Jason looked around, trying to collect his thoughts. Desperate, he darted for the crash barrier and jumped it as a bullet ricocheted off the post by his feet. He rolled down the bank and was soon amongst the cover of the firs and running for his life. 



  Raymond Stone (USA)



Wow. Excellent job, Raymond. You have managed to keep this story in full swing. Guns, bullets.... the suspense is here. We might have to hire Jason Statham to play the lead role when we make this serial into a movie!! ;-)
It's getting clearer and shorter now as a crime story should be. Good work but one thing 4th line down "Just what the do you think..." Is this phrasing right or am I missing something?
I thought the same thing about the apparent missing word. Brilliant the way Albert reappeared as a bad guy. This chapter is very effective in creating the roller coaster ride feeling when one minute Jason feels relief at recognizing Albert's care and the next Albert is shooting at him. Great job.
Personally, I don't see anything wrong with the sentence in question, and I have read it at least 15 times both in the US and abroad. Maybe it should be written, "So whatdaya think you're do'in?" This is an American colloquialism and it is exactly the way a woman like Christine would talk--"If ya know what I mean." Christine isn't exactly a Rhodes Scholar. I can't be objective about this chapter because I have spent a way to much up close and personal time with both it and its writer. I do agree with what everybody so far has said... it is a damn good piece of writing, but then so was the first chapter he wrote for this spot. Wasn't it Suraya? Thanks Raymond, you make following you a challenge! I am still your #1 fan!
Agreed. Just like a REAL crime novel.