Chapter 4

Written by: Jasmine Groves

Although her world was now filled with shadow Fran's other senses were hyper sensitive. She could smell the soft scent of her perfume, feel the breeze from her open window and enjoy the comfort in her favourite chair. But there were other frustrations. Like her sister reading her mail without first asking her if that was okay.

***

At times she felt like a nervous wreck. Anger at both her sister and at Nelson flared in her belly. How dare Marj read her mail like that, how dare Nelly even write to her?! She had been abandoned by one and recused by the other but right now she hated both of them.

No, that wasn’t true, she didn’t hate them. She loved Marj and was deeply grateful for the many sacrifices she made every day. As for Nelly? He had broken her heart and it was still utterly shattered. He had no idea how he had hurt her. She had so much to cope with already without Nelly adding to her troubles. It was tough knowing she had to deal with these cards alone.

Reaching forward she switched on her laptop, opened her dicata program and started to form her reply.

***

Nelson,

You may have already noticed I don’t say Dear. I would have once. You were once the dearest thing in the world to me. You completed me, you made me whole.

But all that changed in Bangkok and that can never be undone? I am blind and that's meant a complete change in my life.

You deeply regret how we fell apart? We didn’t fall apart. You lost your courage and perhaps your love for me. That is the truth.

Despite all your flowery words, trying to convince me I can still serve a purpose, they sound hollow to my ears.

Life has changed and I struggle daily to live, to adjust.

Just when I was starting to get back on my feet, feel some sense of calm in this new world, you have the effrontery to ask this of me?

Please don’t come. I have been brave, but strength escapes me at the thought of seeing you.

Fran

***

Downstairs Marj pressed her forehead against the cool windowpane and watched as cars passed by in the busy street. This wasn’t fair. It wasn’t only Fran who had lost something - she had lost out too. As a carer she had lost a career and freedom.

Maybe she had been wrong to reach out to Nelson, but she had been so sure that if Fran had a purpose and someone she cared about she could start to feel free again. Blindness didn’t need to define her; she didn’t need to live a half-life without love.

Marj closed her eyes. Please let Nelson be brave this time. He had faltered in the days following Bangkok but please let him man up and help Fran through these changing times.

 

Comments

The frustration and hope Marj feels is so real. The anger or bitterness Fran feels, again so real. Beautifully described, Jasmine.
Yes, I can imagine that Fran would be very angry and your description has me right on board with her. The tension that Marj feels between loyalty and wanting a break is also exactly as one would expect. Yes, great insights and well told, Jasmine. Loved it.