Chapter 4

Written by: dannyo77

There was a soft clicking as the second hand crept around the clock-face behind reception. Robert drummed his fingers on the reception desk, willing Lucy, his daughter, to pick up. Grabbing a Kleenex from his pocket, he dabbed the sides of his face. A sleepy voice sounded in his ear, replacing the soft buzz of the ring tone. Asking her to listen carefully, he explained about the lotto ticket and how it was causing him a lot of trouble.

A sudden movement caught Robert’s eye in the mirror behind reception. The glass doors crashed back and Jack entered; his face a mask of anger. The hairs stood on the back of Robert’s neck.  

“Get out of the house for a few days, Lucy.”  


There was a loud click and the line went dead. Lucy sighed and put the phone down. She couldn’t shake the final comment Robert made, and hovered between going back to sleep and getting up to get a drink. On an impulse she didn’t understand, she sat up and grabbed her mobile phone. She sent a text message to her good friend Jenna.

Cn I pls come crash on yr couch 2nite? Will xplain l8r.


Robert put down the phone, unsure why he had told Lucy to get out of her house, but he didn’t have time to process that now. Jack advanced toward him with a sarcastic grin on his face. As he came closer, a pair of guests materialized from a nearby corridor and Robert breathed easier. Never had the sight of complete strangers been so welcome. Jack would be forced to be congenial; at least that is what Robert hoped.

“You know,” Jack seethed, “there’s a phone in our room, Robert.”

Robert gave a lame excuse about a call he wanted to make without disturbing Jack.

“Is that so?” Jack sneered

The concerned receptionist looked from one to the other and asked if they wanted anything further.

“No thanks,” answered Jack. He grabbed Robert’s arm roughly and yanked him toward the door.

Their motel was across the road and down a bit from where they were. As they reached the outside doors, Jack opened his mouth to say something. His comment was cut off by tyres squealing on tarmac. Three black cars pulled up around their motel across the road and three men from each vehicle quickly got out and entered the building at various points. Jack stopped abruptly, and then jumped back out of direct line of sight.

Robert looked up. Jack’s staunch face had paled. “What’s going on Jack? Who are they?”

Jack cursed inwardly and cuffed sweat from his top lip. The heat was unbearable. His heart started thumping. They were there for Robert, but he told them to cancel the hit that night. Damn the lotto ticket. He wiped his forehead and turned to Robert.

“That’s the mob….like you, they can’t do as they’re told,” he snarled.



Dan Oliver (NZ)


Fabulous chapter Dan. The characters are great and the way you have the story unfold keeps the eye skimming over the page. I really will be interested to see where this goes. Exciting!
Yes, this chapter is good, setting pace for some action in coming chapters. Looks like Robert is learning to follow his hunch.
Good work Dan. Enjoyed reading it!